One time a guy at work, Robert Contreras (he'd be proud to have his name known), had a pretty clever sick excuse. This was about 3 years ago. He went to lunch and then called the boss saying he can't return because he's sick. The boss asked "how could you be sick, you were fine 10 minutes ago?"
To that Robert replied "I'm sick because you make me sick". IMO, that's the best excuse of all time. BUT maybe Leon's excuse for why he was late in the morning sometimes tops it.
Another one is the guy who "lost his passport" during vacation in Vietnam the week before Christmas and couldn't return to USA so he had to take off the entire Christmas week off. That week is blacked out and no one may take it. Well no one except those who "lose" their passport.
I was a market manager for Ingels some years back, I had this cutter that was a good one, his only problem was he and his wife drinked every Fri night and a lot of times he was late or layed out on Sat. Once he call me and told me he couldn't make it in because him and his wife had had to much to drink the night before and HIS mother had been worried he might try to drive some where, she had took his keys to keep him from driving, she had went back to her house with his keys, so he couldn't get to work.
Well, I had a female worker who was my wrapper and was usually 1/2 hour late 3 or 4 times a week. Usually it was that she was sick, her kids were sick, no babysitter, or the school called. I was thinking about letting her go, but the final straw came one morning. She called her usual 1/2 hr late and said she hit a 3pt buck. and was waiting for the wrecker. She'd be in later that day. I said ok and would let her go when she come in. She never did come in or even called. I think she knew that she was fired. The sad part of this story is that she was an excellent wrapper and a heck of a clean up person. Oh well!
This isn't a sick excuse, but it's funny and sort of like what I described above. This happened at my former workplace after I left. I heard about it from my ex roommate who was a meat clerk/fish dept person at the time. They had this cutter who was a real screw up. Forget his name. I'll call him Sam. Sam probably didn't deserve the job. Probably should be fired. I don't care, this is still funny! Management decided they needed to talk to Sam. You know, straighten him out or something. They were gonna triple team him. One afternoon he'd been there about an hour when they came to confront Sam. See, the problem is that there just wasn't anyone else to do the job. As bad as Sam was, they couldn't find more people (that's another story). So the meat supervisor, the store manager, and the meat manager all came up to Sam and said "we need to talk to you in the office" so Sam said "ok" and started to take off his smock. Then the supervisor stopped him and said "you don't have to remove your smock". Sam said "yes I do, because when we're finished talking, I might not want to come back". For some reason, I just love that story.
Around 1982 I had a coworker who was calling in sick a lot. A few times per month. Lots of Saturdays. Good worker when he was there, but unreliable. One day he called in while the supervisor was there. The manager asked "R.D." to hold on for a second. While R.D. was holding, the manager told the supervisor that it's R.D. again and he's calling in sick again. The supervisor got on the phone and loudly asked R.D. "Is it a matter of life and death that you can't come into work today" to that R.D. replied "Is it a mater of life and death that I do come in today?"
I had a kid call in a half hour before his shift and when I answered the phone he just yelled Owwwww!, I can't come to work cause my head hurts too bad, Owwwww! So I worked alone that day, after work I went to the store right by my house for something, and I heard a familiar laugh. I saw him before he saw me and snuck up behind him and asked if he felt better, and that he bettter be at work at 7am. He came in next day, and I went crazy and cut the cooler, then said see u later, and left. He was there over 12 hours trying get everything wrapped, fill the case, make grind, and clean-up. He never called in sick again.
seafood girl called in and said she was "under the weather",to which i replied we are all under the weather,you better be sick or find someone to work for you! lol!!
